A problem shared…

A relatively succinct and quick-read today, following last week’s epic essay on music!

There is a quote which never fails to make me smile:

‘A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else’s?’

Clearly a witty extension of the old favourite ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’, I like this as I firmly believe that, wherever possible, we need to find the humour in situations and try to have a laugh about things. There will be a future post on using humour as a coping mechanism, and also motivational quotes (love them or hate them!) though I’d like to focus on the original quote today.

I’ve always been the type to bottle things up inside rather than discussing them. That may seem a little odd given that I’m currently sharing everything, warts and all, via this blog but this is a huge sea-change for me. However, in true ‘keyboard warrior’ style, it’s still easier sharing by typing rather than actually speaking with people. I’ll always be more comfortable keeping things inside and dealing with any issues myself rather than burdening anyone else with them.

However, having said that, in the two months since I started publishing these posts, by far the greatest benefit to date has been the subsequent conversations I’ve had with friends and family. There are comments left on the YYCDI website and on Facebook posts, though I’ve also received many more messages, and had many more conversations, in private. And whaddya know – it appears that the issues I talk about are much more common than I ever realised and people have confided in me in a way which simply wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t had started this blog. I’ve been close friends with some of these people for nigh on thirty years now and had no idea of what they were experiencing. Considering I was very nervous about starting YYCDI, this has absolutely been the biggest takeaway so far for me. There is something very therapeutic, comforting and reassuring in discussing these themes and finding some common ground with people I trust and care about. I did initially wonder if my issues would resonate with anyone or just come across as the inane ramblings of a bit of a fruit-loop – thankfully the former is certainly the case.

In true ‘me’ style, I do have some concerns about this though. One of my core beliefs (blame it on my solid upbringing…) is the absolute need to go through life with integrity and decency, showing respect to others. In conjunction with that, I feel the need to respond to all feedback regarding this blog, especially given the subject matter I’m discussing. Thankfully that’s manageable at the moment – I greatly appreciate all comments and remain astonished that people are taking the time out of their busy lives to respond in some way. However, I fear that I’ll be unable to maintain that if the reach of the blog grows, and it is a definite short-term goal of mine to significantly increase the readership beyond my immediate friends and family network. Should that happen, I will attempt to maintain that approach to a degree, though it may not always be possible. If that is the case, I’ll write about it and hopefully people will understand. It does bother me though…

So, the main point I’m trying to get to, is that, if you’re dealing with similar issues, or any problems at all, try to find someone you can trust and have a conversation about it. I realise more than most this this isn’t easy – in fact it seems damned well impossible at times, but what is the worst that can happen? My concerns when starting this blog don’t appear to have materialised but even if they have to a lesser degree, so what? A handful of people may now look at me a little differently than before, or feel that this blog is nonsense. If that is the case, so be it. I can handle it and, if that is the case, it’s merely a minor aside when compared to just how important I believe it is to maintain this. I’ve benefitted hugely from doing this in just a short two-month period – it feels as if a significant weight has been lifted from my shoulders (though not fully). So please, if you need to, do try to identify someone who you feel will listen and have an initial conversation. It won’t be easy at first, and I fully understand if you’re more comfortable with keeping everything inside, but please do consider what is the worst that can happen and contrast that with what you may get from it if you go ahead and do it. I really doubt your life will significantly change for the worse, or you’ll cause some irreparable damage which you can’t undo. However, you may just find that it’s of huge benefit to you and potentially to others to. In my experience, a problem shared is most definitely a problem halved – it could be for you too.

Thanks again for taking the time to read this – I really do appreciate it.

Until next time.

Best wishes,

Mick

2 Comments

  1. Another great post …agree finding someone you can talk to is one of the most important things. As someone who describes themself as a “private extrovert” I find this tricky but always worthwhile ..ps sounds like you need a P.A. to handle your fan mail !

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